i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
