i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
