Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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