put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
