Me too!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
