Jerry, you need to find god
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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