it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize