Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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