In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
