yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
