I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
