I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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