When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
