1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
