Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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