Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
