i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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