He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
