in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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