I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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