Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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