i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
