i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
