Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
