then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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