i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
