If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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