I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
