I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
