Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
