the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
