What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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