i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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