He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
