I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
