Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize