Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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