i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
