Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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