so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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