My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
