a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
