party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize