I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
