just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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