i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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