I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
