I'm really into asian looking animals
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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