I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
