Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
