Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
