I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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