I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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