I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
