Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
