Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
