The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
