Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
