We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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