So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
