You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??