Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
