I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.