So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
