oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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