is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
