Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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