I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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