If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
